SUVs are the new fur
I propose that we treat those who drive unnecessarily large vehicles – SUVs, big pickup trucks, large cars – as pariahs, as selfish bastards, as harmers of our health, environment, and resources. Remember the disdain with which we once viewed those who wore fur coats (a response which has recently diminished but could use a revitalization)?
Excessive oil consumption affects everyone – you, your parents, your kids, your dog, your grass – everything! These vehicles are producing more smog, more greenhouse gasses, and using more of our diminishing oil supplies than is necessary. These drivers could get by with less, but in the interest of their own comfort or attempts to compensate for their weak egos or tiny penises or whatever, they are ruining our air and water and land.
So here’s my idea: sneer at SUV drivers, frown at them. Treat them discourteously on the road: don’t do them any favours. Shake your head when you see them at the gaspump, pillaging more of our petroleum wealth, preparing to convert it into poison gas, into aerosol death.
People throw paint on fur coats, spit on them. Here’s an idea: create stickers to adhere to the fuel door of these vehicles, the windshields. Stickers that say: “Your SUV is ruining my planet.” Make up your own. Stick ’em to a truck, photograph it, send it to me. I’ll post them here.
Shame these damn drivers. Because the decision they made when they bought their gigantic, inefficient vehicle is utterly shameful, and everyone is suffering and will continue to suffer increasingly because of that decision.
These people are harming your quality of life. Treat them appropriately.
One caveat: there are many drivers out there who do need a large vehicle to conduct their work. Don’t harass them. My targets are those who are drive excessively large vehicles. The guy who cruises alone in his Humvee; the old couple in their Ford Expedition; the young woman in her Dodge Ram 1500, with its 8.3 litre engine.
Excessive oil consumption affects everyone – you, your parents, your kids, your dog, your grass – everything! These vehicles are producing more smog, more greenhouse gasses, and using more of our diminishing oil supplies than is necessary. These drivers could get by with less, but in the interest of their own comfort or attempts to compensate for their weak egos or tiny penises or whatever, they are ruining our air and water and land.
So here’s my idea: sneer at SUV drivers, frown at them. Treat them discourteously on the road: don’t do them any favours. Shake your head when you see them at the gaspump, pillaging more of our petroleum wealth, preparing to convert it into poison gas, into aerosol death.
People throw paint on fur coats, spit on them. Here’s an idea: create stickers to adhere to the fuel door of these vehicles, the windshields. Stickers that say: “Your SUV is ruining my planet.” Make up your own. Stick ’em to a truck, photograph it, send it to me. I’ll post them here.
Shame these damn drivers. Because the decision they made when they bought their gigantic, inefficient vehicle is utterly shameful, and everyone is suffering and will continue to suffer increasingly because of that decision.
These people are harming your quality of life. Treat them appropriately.
One caveat: there are many drivers out there who do need a large vehicle to conduct their work. Don’t harass them. My targets are those who are drive excessively large vehicles. The guy who cruises alone in his Humvee; the old couple in their Ford Expedition; the young woman in her Dodge Ram 1500, with its 8.3 litre engine.
posted by Bri at 10:07 AM
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